Megatokyo
Chu! CCS Love!
Aku-Tenshi
Cosplay.com
Sakura-Crisis
Manga Project
Little Gamers
Starlit Dreams
Dork-Feel the Lameness
Dusty Rose

Shinobu's Current Top 5 Mangas 1. W-Juliet 2. Hunter X Hunter 3. Parfait Tic 4. Kodocha no Ochamo 5. Aka-chan To Boku

Genki-desu! "Don't let reality get you down." Post a Comment LiveJournal I'm experimenting with an account on live journal, but my old entries will remain here for reading until I deside if I want to keep my blog or not. Here's the page: http://www.livejournal.com/users/chinookami/ Random Rambles 1-20-04 The 2nd marking period is almost over, giving the school year its' half-way mark. It went by relativly quick, and I've enjoyed it thus far. I went through course selection and I guess I'll just let it be. I'm still kind of worried about it, but I guess I shouln't be. Oh well. I'm working on a few costumes, though I don't even know if I'm going to another anime convention this summer. Well, this summer should be fun, I hope... I'm looking forward to it. I don't know if I should join Broadway Bound Players and Marching Band over the summer on top of all my summer homework, especially when I wanted to find a job somewhere. I just don't know what to do...Actually, it might be for the best- I won't waste my summer away doing useless things, but at the same time I really crave to have time to sleep. I hate to look forward to the future where I'd have to get up early ever single day. That's why I thought being an author would be nice...I could make my own hours and write when I pleased as long as I got it to the publishers in time. (Like Shigure! XD) But maybe I just need to grow out of this I'm-Always-So-tired rut. It might just be because of my teenage problems, and I'm still short yet, so I have more growing to do. Well the best job for me over the summer rather than a retail job again would be another acting job. I loved that!! It was fun, especially how I could improv with my lines. Next fall I'll defanitaly join the Hay ride Halloween crew again. I'll probably get payed more for my experience, and I'll probably be given a part with memorized lines- I think I get a raise for effort. ^^; Decisions Today was course selection day for next year... Last night I was wracking my brain about it, and I didnt imagine that today it'd be even worse... Mr. Evans, my mom, and even some of my friends want me to go into Honors US History next year. I dont know if I want to though, because...well, I feel like making a list of the pros and cons. Maybe that will help me deside. (I made a chart of my electives last night to help me deside...Am I sequential or what? >,< lol!) Pros: .The classes will be more challenging .It will look good on my college application .The other students will be more serios about their work rather than the kids who distract me with their misbehavior. (But I still have grades in the 90's, but if I could concentrate...then I'd probably have a hundred. @_@) Cons: .Classes will be more challening .I will probably have no free time whatsoever with all that I have going on now, I'm almost already spreading myself too thin NOW, so how will it feel next year? .Mr. Evans said that next year's history classes are more challening, even in A-level, so if I go into honors it's almostlike skipping a grade! (I did that back in 7th sort of, skipped pre-algebra and went right into algebra, so now I'm in Geometry, and in Language Arts, but can I do it again?...) .He said that we have more projects and have to take more notes, but that it will give me a head-start for college. But sometimes I have so many projects that it's so hard to handle, especially when Honors Language Arts requires you do to so many projects as it is...(But I dont mind the LA work because I want a career in writing.) But everyone thinks I can handle it for some reason. Mr. E wants me to at least try it, but I dont know if I can even complete the summer project. I wanted to join the broadway bound players (summertime theatre program) and marching band too...but maybe I should just...take the summer to fizzle out..But then I might be bored. Or just overworked with the LA projects. -_- I still need to think on it. Damnit... and I just remembered another con- If I have too many honors classes, I might get stuck in period 4,5 band. I dont want that!! I want to be in period 2 again with all my friends! Band would suck without them. T_T (ok, maybe not suck, but it wont be as fun. I'd rather take another elective that get stuck with 4,5 band.) The power of words and emotion Ok, the layout kind of looks bad now...I promise I'll fix it. I'm just going to rant for a little while about everything... I had a weird dream last night that I woke up and the house was in the middle of an ocean...and my family was like "the water's gonna come up soon, so we have to move to that castle out there." But when I looked out our window, I see this huge castle, but the waves are so high (like tsunamis!!) that is like went to the top of the castle! And I was crying, "Mom I dont wanna go ther, we'll die!" But then later on found out that the ocean calmed down...And we where living in like a world of water, driving around in a boat...It was so weird. Anyway... I was kind of upset over a lot of shocking things and stuff late last week, and for letting go of secrets...And when I thought about it, it wasnt so bad if I looked on the outside veiw, and I didnt mind the things, but I felt so horrible still... So I took all of Saturday to just fizzle out and make myself feel better instead of moping around feeling sorry for myself. I knew that if I didnt try to find the good things out of the bad that nothing would ever get better. So I read books, listened to music, watched some anime/movies, playing Kingdom Hearts, and just thought of the funny things instead of all the upsetting ones. (Like woosh, and schmakkett!) So once I got my mind off of it, my spirits lifted and I felt so much better. It just goes to show that my motto is living up to itself- "Dont let reality get you down." I had a long talk with someone, and I think it brought us closer together in a sence that we understand each other more, and feel more connected, I think... I just feel horrible for being so moody around my poor mom, but at the time I was so upset that it seemed like everyone was against me. It seemed like she was forcing a lot of stuff on me, and I was already under so much pressure that everything seemed so horrible, but like I said, after I fizzled out, everything became ok. I noticed that I unconciously followed the advice that Sana's mom gives in Kodocha about hard times....and even though it is a manga, it made things a lot better. It just goes to show that anime and manga has helped my life...in more ways than that, but that's one example. It's really the first time I got rid of the pain of something so quickly. Maybe it's just a sign of maturity, that I'm beginning to know myself more, what makes me feel good and comforts me in my time of need. My life is just a huge rollar coaster @_@ On the up-side, I read Alice 19th volume one...it was great. I also finished Kodocha 5 and 6..it made me feel even more passionate about acting than I did before, along with help me get through the emotional struggle...And CLAMP Detectives gave me the good idea about citrus baths! XD Yeah...this stuff really helps my life...Like one time, right before a huge exam, I watched a Sailor Moon episode the night before...In the episode there was a gardener, and he talked about roses and stuff-little facts you think are useless...But by a weird coinsidence, there where questions on it on the science section of the test! o_0 And I ended up getting above-average in science because of that little bit of knowlage I actually got from a Sailor Moon episode! XD It sounds weird, but true... Christmas and such 12/23/03 The year 2003 comes to a close, and Im still panicking because I need to get Emily's present before tommorow! @_@ That's really bad!! I hope I figure something out! I had a really fun Christmas party with my friends and relatives this weekend...I loved it. We went caroling, played karaoke revolution, ate snacks, got presents, and a bunch of other stuff...It was great. And tommorow I get out of class to see Finding Nemo. ^^: Well, I cant talk anymore.... Oh yeah and my computer is dead, im on my dad's... Ja Ne! More Rambles 12-7-03 It's strange to read about someone saying that it's hot (Rachal ^_~) outside when It's been snowing the past few days... Over the summer I had the mindset of "I love hot wheather, and I'll hate it once it's cold", but it's not so bad...And school is becoming more enjoyable every day... *pause* WOO my Nanaka 6/17 is done! WOOH! OK, anyway.... um... I think I've progressed greatly from past years. I always wonder if I where to look at myself now as myself from a long time ago, would I be proud of how far I've come? From being a very shy, chubby little girl who hid her face under her hair and never smiled, I've become a thinner, more confident girl who's not afraid to speak out or smile anymore, and I really think that it's making my life a lot more enjoyable. I'm not quiete perfect yet, but I think I've improved... It takes so long to happen that you sometimes forget that it ever happened at all... But I think that people like my real personality- the real me... People who are friends with me online know my real personality, that's how I feel inside and act- hyper chibi. I acted like that at home, but was too shy to do it at school. But lately this year I've been coming out of the mask that hid my true self all those years. And... I think people like the real me better, which is very comforting to know. Maybe I'll even get a boyfriend one day if my confidence level rises up a little more... Wish me luck! (Sorry if my entries are boring! haha!) Homework ...Today I had over FOUR HOURS of homework. Can you beleave that??! I don't think I've ever worked that long and hard for school. Jeez... Anyways, I guess I'll just rant while I fall asleep at the keyboard. I'm trying to raise my grades, and I guess that's why I took a long time at my homework.... But I should have spent a longer amount of time studying. (If that was possible...) The weird thing is that I almost never ever study but I get honoroll grades. Only on real toughies did I study, but I was thinking "Stupid, why not just study so you can get Straight A's??" Bwahhh~ Heh, anyway, I finnaly started putting more effort into ANGST than just doodling. I'm using a ruler and everything! XD Once we get the scanner working, I'll re-draw all of my comics to make them suitable for the public eye, maybe I'll even color or ink some of them. I'm also trying out a new page set-up style, and I think I like it. It's not too crouded, or too spacious, and it just might work out! Sorry that Sana and Akito's faces aren't visible, I need to make/find a cute Christmas picture to stick in the corner. .....I think this was the most boring entry ever! >_< Ja ne~ Head Damage I was having a pretty good day...tiring, but good day. Except for the fact that I'm weighed down with tons of homework, and that I was tired as hell, it was a nice day...Until 11th period. We where playing soccer, and I finnaly started to wake up. I perked up, and got good exersize even though I was only defence. The girl who was playing goalie hit the ball VERY hard. So hard that it would fly to the other side of the gymnasium and ricashey off the wall. So anyway, I was playing defence, and moved a safe distance every time she kicked...But, one time I was careless. I moved only a little, and she kicked it with all her strength, hitting me right on the side of the head, on top of my ear. It hurt like hell, and I said I could shake it off, but I started to become dizzy, and when I put my hand where it hit, it felt like it was bleeding, and it (still) hurts to touch, like a horrible bruse was already placed there. A chorus of "ARE YOU OK?" and "OMG!" rang up among everyone. I wanted to keep on playing, but my teacher seemed very concerned. She asked me to sit out on the rest of the game. As I did and watched the game, it continued to hurt. I noticed that the girls seemed a lot more caucious of the ball now, they dodged it more, and some even screamed with terror when it came twoards them. The teacher told me to go to the nurse, and I desided that the dizziness was too much to bear in Geometry, and went to the nurse. Luckily, I went in, (kind of went in front of people, but I felt like I might colapse, and the other kids only had headaches or something like that.) I kind of felt bad for that, but the nurse was like, freaking out. She checked my tempature, blood pressure, pulse, filled out a huge form, asked for wittnesses, asked if we had health insurence... Then she explained that if the ball had hit my head a little lower than it did, that it would have ruptured my ear drum and I would probably go deaf. She also warned me that it could still happen in a few hours from now if I wasnt careful. She wanted to make sure I wasnt going to have a concussion, and said I couldnt go to sleep for the next few hours. If I did, I may never wake up again... After all the tests, I lied down and the nurse called my mom to pick me up. I was horrified... At the time, I think the thing that was in my mind the most was my grades. I was missing Geometry, I'd have to make that lesson up. And on top of that I had hours worth of homework, plus play rehersal after school. And if I have to miss more school because of this injury, I would miss making up the French test, and ANOTHER rehersal, and more and more work would be thrown on top of me. That's when I started to cry, the pain hurt more, and it was unbearable. I just wanted to sleep, but I couldnt no matter what, it was a life-or-death situation. The nurse was afraid that I'd have to go to the hostpital...Augh~ Well, my mom picked me up and brought me home. I had to warn my brothers not to make any loud noises. I can feel that my eardrum is soar, and any huge vibration was likely to rupture it. I finished a lot of work, but Im too...drowsy to finish some of the work that's due in a few days. I really hope blood dosent seep from my ears and I'll have to go to the hostpital...That'd really really suck T_T Finnaly, a good day Today's Thanksgiving, and it's a pretty good day so far. ^^ I cant wait to eat the yummy food! My cold is getting better (I didnt mention it, but I have had a really bad cold for a while, I even had to go to the docotors and stay home from school.) But...today feels so nice...so happy and warm. ^_^ Ahh- But I finished Harry Potter 5! (I've had a LOT of time to read while I was sick) and...ugh I felt so sad/depressed for a long time over, well, if you read it, you know why. (I almost cried!) But anyway, I saw the Cat in the Hat last night. I LOVE it! I would usually rant about some emotional thingys, but I just feel like ranting in general. Oh well, later! Oh, the drama! 11-21-03 I'm going to rant about the play and drama class for a while. I got picked for the Giant's voice in Into The Woods. I'm not seen, but it's a very important part, and I'm glad Mrs. Dougherty picked me after me reading it only once, and no one else tried to read it... (I guess the scary giants voice did it.. lol!) They talk about the giant a lot, and it's a crusial part to the story, it cant be cut out or ignored. SOMEONE has to do it. lol! Plus, I'm still in chorus and I have the chance of being an understudy, or get some other parts... Plus, I sing in a group during sertain scenes. So, having many small-ish parts instead of one big one is just as good in my opinion. ^_^ I also got picked as Sandy, one of the only girl parts in The Outsiders. I kind of got stuck with it, but at least I dont have to be Randy...but Sheryl was being really...ugh, well, that's what I wanted to rant about. There's this girl Sheryl in my theatre arts class, and she's been in almost all of my every short-play groups we've done so far, and I noticed a re-acuring pattern with her. Now, when we do these plays, the parts are never perminent, and we change them very easily on a whim. You're not supposed to get attached to the characters. I usually stand to the side with a "whatever's left, I'll take" sort of attitude, but I really have to stop that, because, not to be snotty, but I'm like in the top five actors in our class, but I get stuck with all the small parts while all the kids who SUCK get the big ones just because they like the attention and choose those parts. I'm way too nice. Next time I'll say what part I really want, I'm tired of being pushed around! And someone that really pisses me off this that Sheryl girl. Every group I've been in with her, she says "I want this character." and if we need to change it, she'll fight to the grave for it, and if we even DISCUSS the possiblity of changing something, she says "Well no matter what, I'm keeping Sharon" or "I want Sandy!" or some shit like that. She needs to understand that everyone ELSE cant get what they want all the time, so she should get a grip and give it up! It's only a small play, and it's not like she's a diva or anything! So...the Outsiders. Of coarse, Sheryl says right away, "I WANT SANDY!" and we tried to get the rest of the parts and she keeps saying "Im keeping Sandy, I'm sandy" bla bla. I wish she would stfu. And me, of coarse, has to be the only nice one, and takes whatever's left, which is Randy, a Soc who dosent say boo the whole play, while everyone else got parts that didnt fit them at all, they just got the fun ones because they wanted to. And when we made changes on the people during blocking and read-thrus, Sheryl of coarse was stubborn as hell to keep Sandy. (It seems like she's the polar oposite of me that way) But, I was absent on Monday and so was she. When I came back on Tuesday, she still wasnt there, and Jess had taken her part. We needed a director, and since Jess is the best candidate, she was chosen. (She's very experienced in theatre, she's been in a lot of plays, works as a magician's assistant, and a lot of other stuff.. she's just perfect for it) And since I didnt have a part (I GUESS they gave Randy to someone while I was gone. -_-) So, I got Sandy. I was pretty happy since it was a GIRL part, and a nice one too.... But... just as I thought, Sheryl was horrified. (It made me feel a lil happy to show her that she cant always keep her parts) But while we rehersed, she kept giving me dirt looks and telling Sam (I have good hearing -_-) "I cant beleave they gave away my part! Now I dont have one! I wanted to be Sandy...bla bla Why dont we split Sandy into two parts?" (that's impossible, Sandy's only there for like a minute!! in one scene!!) and even though she told me "Its ok!" I kinda felt a lil bad... then I turned to Jess and said, "Sheryl dosent have a part and she feels kinda bad, do you think she could be the popcorn lady, or an extra Soc?" So we talked about it, and we desided that she could be an extra soc w/ Randy and Bob, the popcorn lady, and the "Soc Voice" in the last scene where they have a fight between the two gangs. It was good to do that, because they needed more Socs then just two. Plus, Sheryl shouldnt feel to left out, because the "Soc Voice" has a lot of lines. When I went over and told her and told her about the parts she was getting. Sam was concerned about keeping Bob, and she seemed very releaved when I told her that she'd keep the part. (Maybe she's the same way) But, when I told Sheryl about the parts she got, and when she looked at the script, and we talked about what she'd have to do, and I had to explain that the scripts we had now where smaller, (she thought Sandy was in like 3 scenes) but when I told her about all the parts she had now, I could tell that her whole face was brightening up, and she was getting excited about it, and emediatly got into it. She started talking happily to Sam about her new part as the Soc Voice (Actually, I think it has more lines than Sandy dose) So, I guess I did a good deed by helping out Sheryl. I dont know why I did when she was being so evil about it, and if I was Catholic I'd say it was an act of God, but frankly, I think it's better to do something nice for somone not because you think you're getting to heaven out of it, but because you do it for the people without getting anything out of it. I think THAT is a truely nice and wonderful thing to do. Like, I want to help the poor and homeless, but that's another story. |-|@RRY P0773R & |]@ 0Rd3r '0 |]4 Ph30nix 11-18-03 Harry Potter? What Harry Potter? Ok You caught me, I'm addicted to Harry Potter again. This time, I'm on HP and the Order of the Phoenix. I didnt start until a week ago, and I'm almost on page 500... I'm in no rush to finish it, but I seem to be there already.. o_o I might re-read it or something >_< I was also thinking of re-reading the entire series. It's been years since I read them, and I only read all of them once anyway. It would be a treat to re-read them all while I wait for Christmas to arrive. ^^: I REALLY hate that Umbridge woman with a passion. If I hear one more [I]Hem Hem[/I] Im gonna kick some midget butt! I was sort of disapointed that Gary Oldeman is playing Sirius... Dont take me wrong, I think he fills the part well, but after LOVING Sirius for such a long time, I cant imagine Dracula as being Siruis! MY Siruis! NO!! Same w/ Kiano Reeves, he was in the same Dracula movie as Oldeman. I still think of Reeves as "Neo" from the Matrix, and always will. Like how I think of Tim Allen as Buzz lightyear and Tim the Toolman Taylor. XD The picture I have right above is the actor who plays Prof. Snape. Wow... I know this sounds sick, but he's really really really cute.... I dont care if he's old. I love British people, and I like older men. (Why? They're more mature and polite and more intelligent!!) And I just love British people in general. They're so cool. XD The British movie "Love Actually" looks really good. Some of my favorite actors/actresses are in it...and they're BRITISH! XD The movie looks wonderfully romantic and funny too. The only downside is that it's rated R, and looks like a chick-flick, so my brothers probably won't want to see it, but I'll go with my mom. We went to see Automn in NY together, (which was R, chick flick) and R movies really dont affect my psychie like they used to when I was a littleun... It dosent even make me flinch anymore when people curse or do anything "innapropriate", unless I think I'd get in trouble for it or my mom would dissaprove. -.- (My mom said that was "sad".) Well, I really want to see it anyways. And the Cat in the Hat. It's finnaly feeling like the holidays again. ^_^ I've finnaly recovered from the 9-11 tragedy, it took 2 years for me to fully feel the Christmas/Holiday spirit once again. That's also kind of scary... But two years ago was filled with a lot of bad ucurrences in my life, a bad year, and now that Im recovered, I feel so much...happier. the "christmas spirit" has jumped up inside me, and I cant wait. I kind of feel like a kid again! XD Right now you are reading this title Nov. 8 2003 I cant beleave it's Saturday already. My long vacation is coming to a close. Since the teachers are on strike, I won't have school on Tuesday, but Monday...that'll be weird, but fun if not a lot of kids come. And I feel like, even though I dont want to, I should defanitaly go back to school Monday just in case I miss important information... It's the beginning of the 2nd marking period, and a fresh start for me to make up for my lower grades! I swore to myself to do better in highschool! And I was close to the honor roll too! I'll keep trying... Yeah... And only 2 days absent so far. 13 available... but only about 7 monthes left... wait.. ONLY? o_0 I feel that it's going by quickly though, even though it's still only November... I can just feel it. Time is slipping away, out of my grasp... Well, today was peacefull... I slept more, did a good deal of work on my History project, and finnaly started Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix in order to stiffle my craving to read more Kodocha (I'm stocking up on new anime/manga in case of a nuclear holicaust...or if I run out of money for a long period of time...) But... I got SO into Harry Potter. I'm already only page 98... I had to stop myself around 2, and get more work done... But John wanted to watch Tenchi Forever. So...we did. It was OK... I liked the first movie better, but the DVD dose come with the Japanese and English dialoge, plus trailors and stuff. Well worth the 10 dollars. Next time Kalyn comes over, we'll probably watch it again. I wonder what she'll think of it. Now... yeah... out of money.... Now I feel poor again. Having a job all the time feels better, but I have to hold myself over for the time being with the anime I have now. I do have a lotf, I dont need more anime till christmas...but the other temptations mike kick in...shoes...clothes...movies... NO!! fight it! GAHH! Dreams and More Soul-Searching Fri, Nov. 07 2003 There was a big argument over religion again last night, but while my mom was gone I wrote a 3-page article expressing my feelings twoards the catholic church and about my choice or religion. My brother and mom both read it and seemed to understand a lot better than they used to... For some reason, Justin even made a list of all the points I was trying to make. They where all true, so I know they understand. I dont have a religion right now, I'm searching to find which one is right for me. For sertain reasons, I am not Catholic anymore, and I dont think I ever will be again. But for now I am still looking, maybe I wont ever have one anyway. Well, to change the subject.. My dreams lately have been about school, and all seem weirdly similar, same settings and places, only different sinarios. I've been getting DaijaVu a lot more often lately too... Well, in last nights' dream, I was in the school play like I am in real life, only it was a different play altogether. Matt was in the cast too, and Ms. Dougherty said that I was going to play the role of someone who married him or something o_0. Then someone else said that he got to choose who he married (that's kind of weird!) and then I told him about it, and laughed and said "Hahaa we get married! This'll be fun!" and suddenly he looked disapointed and stuff and said "I dont think so..." And then a lot of girls popped up and where swooning over him. None of the girls where girls he really knew, so why should he not pretend-marry one of his friends?? It was weird, he wouldnt talk to me after that, and I felt sad...Then this girl was gonna may me off to drop out of the play! I woke up feeling confused...grr.. Am I that unlikeable?! GAH! wAit...twas a dream...only a dream... ^^: AND...Today I got Tenchi Forever on DVD. I didnt want it yet, but I will soon... Next I got a comic "Samurai Penguin." It looked stupid, it was cheap, I bought it. I was kinda funny... Now all my money is...GONE! Fini! Vanished! Im trying to get a job as one of Santa's elves at a mall somewhere...another acting gig, but I need to make some calls! Wish me luck! ....... ... I miss Billy... I havnt talked to him in days. He's so busy with his SOCOM stuff that he's always got his away message on. I never come online at the right time, I guess. T-T Billllyyyyyy~~~!!! ..I wish Paige would come on so I wasnt lonely! Im going downstairs to fix that very soon! And I want to know what Cooper screamed out of the bus last Friday. Something about...someone being hot?... I thought he said my cat hat was hot. XD Then kalyn heard something different. I'll probably find out on Monday. I hope there isnt some ugly dude that likes me... And that reminds me, I had ANOTHER dream about school last week where Zach A. liked me! o_0 In my concious mind I never thought of dating him.... why in my dreams? And why do I have a dream in the same setting every night this week? why???? Boy problems? I guess....I guess... but it would be nice to have a boyfriend.. ._. (not chucky!)...yeah... Matrix!!! I just finished watching the Matrix for the first time ever. (yes, I am deprived) But since everyone told me so much about it, I was not too surpised by a lot. But some stuff was icky, like the bug thing, and the stuff like that... I usually dont like SciFi kind of movies, and if it was on TV I'd turn it off, but it got way cooler later on, and I knew it would be from what everyone told me. Hollywood Video is so cool! I thought It'd be lame, but it has like a gamestop built in, and it had Greenwood 2 and a whole bunch of different hard-to-find animes! I was like OMG! plus they had all the movies that no one else has, like Hackers, Into The Woods, Pajama Game, Ringu, Clerks, Slackers, ect. ect. ect. And the best part is that the anime is only 1.99 apeace to rent for 5 days! o_o I love it. I only rented Greenwood 2 though. Unfortunitaly, it was dubbed, but it was pretty good for a dub. I was impressed. Actually, it was easier to follow that way. If/when I bring it into anime club, (once we actually start it!) It'll be easier for everyone else to understand since it's in English. And it's not as bad as I thought it'd be, its clean enough where John and Phil could watch it. I'm sure if I bought all of the Greenwood videos, they would love them, and for the dirty jokes, they're too young to understand what they mean, so its all good. Same with Gokudo... It had a few curse words, but the suggestive things went by them since they still have clear lil virgin minds. ^^;; PLUS... I feel very acomplished by this weekend's work, even though it's only 3 days into it. I cleaned my room, did my LA homework early, sent my mom photos she's wanted for a while, got my paycheck, found major information for my history project, e-mailed a teacher about anime club, wrapped up kalyns present, watched the Matrix, got Greenwood 2 (After a 3-year-search), practiced my clarinet, FINNALY started my AMV productions off to a good start on AMVs.org, Cataloged my unmarked video tapes, satisfied an old craving for Tenchi, downloaded a lot of songs I've wanted, and all I need to do is buy some nice clothes and some manga and I'll probably feel complete. This is one of those moments where some people would say "If I could die right now, I'd be satisfied." But I dont ever say that! I always have sometime to do and look forward to in life. I cant imagine dying, because I know Ill have unfinished business. Once I get old I'll have to gear it down some... -,- Well, Ill shutup now and go to sleep. Bye!! WooHoooo Sunday, Nov. 2nd 12:30 am My newest AMV project is One Week by Barenaked Ladies, various. I just need to gather all of the footage. I have almost all of it stuck in my mind, I just dont have it on my computer in AVI or MPEG format. But, once I get highspeed net, that wont be a problem. And, what layout do you see? Tell me on the my comment section. Two of my computers show different layouts for my blog. Anyways, Matt; I need to send you my original Fruits Basket video... Next time you come online. We have a huge vacation anyways. And, I should try to get some teacher to support anime club. Josh says they wont go for that, and we need a japanese culture club. That would work! I can show animes that reflect things of Japanese culture. To Heart is a perfect example of Japanese Highschool life, and Kenshin is a very historic-like anime about the Shoguns and stuff. And speaking of To Heart, I went to Hot Topic and they had To Heart candy tins! I was like "what the hell?" but the weird thing about it was that the characters names where changed, and hair color and stuff was different, but it WAS To Heart! I wonder why they did that. There's no point in having a candy tin with Akari on it, only w/ Pink hair and green ribbon and the name "Yumi." o_0 They also have some new cute pins from that animal friends show or whatever its called. I watched some episodes online over the summer, and now it went out on DVD. I wonder why it did though... I'll probably buy some more, and I wont put any more pins on the front of my purse anymore. They all fall off or something! I lost my Gir and Monkiichii pins that way! So much going on... Oct. 30. 2003 Wow I havnt written in here in a while! Sorry about that!!! I've been super-busy and I have had NO time online, and when I did, I was too lazy to type in my blog! Well, a LOT happened since I last wrote. One: I got in the play Into The Woods and I stayed after a lot, so it cut on my fun time (even though the auditions and workshops where fun) Second, I got that job I was talking about! I only had two weeks to work, but I made about 150 dollars. ^^ That'll go to good use for college and stuff! It was really fun, Justin and I where cannibal cooks... There where a lot of funny stories to write, but I cant bring up too many now...ugh...sorry... Well, tonight was Jeepers Creepers. The drama club dressed up and handed out candy to kids from different elementary schools. It was fun, especially since Paige and Matt came!! John and Phil where Jedis, and I was wearing and kimono and carrying my Chinese umbrella and fan. I dont think I'll trick-or-treat this year, unless we go to the mall. I just dont feel like it. I'm getting old I guess. Last year I didnt feel like it eather. I mean, it's just candy that makes me fatter! I'll dress up though. XD Lastly... The punk across the street shaving-creamed our house! and my moms' crow she made and it took her days! THAT JERK! GRR!! Well, sorry today's entry was boring, since I have a week off in the beginning of November, I'll type more, k? Jack Black rulez j00 all Sunday, October 5th 2003 I really should be asleep or something, but I was out all A day and I had to print out a project that might be due tommorow. Today was really.....unique. I think it's one of those days you'll remember for the rest of your life for a lot of reasons. Well, first Ill write about last night. Yesterday, we went out to JCPenny, well... just a lot of places that I dont remember, then we went to the haunted hay ride thing to drop Justin off for work around 5 or 6 ish. Mom and I went to Friendlys for supper and talked about...stuff...Then we went to Barnes and Nobles. This B&N had so much manga... I was like blown away, the one in Deptford sucks. (The Waldenbooks in Deptford is a lot better if you ever go there) Anyway, I was looking at that for a while, and since we had until 11pm to kill, we read in the comfy chairs. I was going to read all of Di Gi Charat but desided I'll buy it one day, and flipped through Azumanga Daioh and felt rater nastalgic. .Hack, man... I sat down and wrote down all the manga I want to buy, the list was huge. I need to keep it for Christmas refrence. Then I read Utena volume 2 and realized I'd read all of it already from all my old Animerica Extra issues! ^^; But that also brought back memories...ah... I need to re-watch the Utena anime. Today was unforgetable but for a bad reason. It was a great weekend overall except for one small thing..well not too small...big... Our family was going to visit my grandmom today to work on her house, and we all piled in and drove over there. When we got to her house, no one was home. My mom said "I cant beleave she went out for the weekend and forgot to tell us." And we used the emergency key to get in. There was a note on the table that said "Mary Jane, I went to the 10:30 mass. Love Mom." (Mary is my mom) But it was already 1, so we didnt know what happened. I thought "I hope she's ok..." But, this neighbor rushed over and said "Im so glad you're here! Your mom....she had to be sent to the hospital-" I was in shock. I was almost going to cry right there. Then the woman said "She nealed down to pray in church and didnt get back up! She knew enough to tell us that you where coming!" My mom and I rushed to the hospital to see her, and I cried on the way. I didnt want her to die, I loved her some much and even when she had fainted she was worried about us, omg... When we got there she was ok, and I was so glad.. .I wanted to hug her and not let go. Her friend was with her, and she was really nice... Grandmom was laughing and stuff too, I'm glad she has nice friends... It was a huge releaf. We found out that she has severe anxiety, and I found out that this used to happen to her a lot when she was younger. So it wasnt like a brain tumor, but it got me really scared. Since we had ordered pizzas before all this, and my mom had to call all of our relatives, she went back to Grandmom's house and I stayed there and kept her compony. The hospital people where really nice... One nurse looked a lot like Ally! o_o I was like 'woah...' Anyway, I talked to Grandmom, helped her with stuff... And I wanted to cry when she said stuff like "Im sorry I forgot to go out and get you grapes, I thought justin might like bannanas too... I was going to go afer church..." She's so un-selfish... I feel like crying when I type about it... It's like in that Digimon episode when Kari almost died trying to play soccer when she was sick and said afterwards "Im sorry I couldn't kick the ball Tai..." T_T Aunt Alice came over to stay overnight with grandmom, and she was happy to be home. I didnt notice, but we spent like 3 hours in the hospital, and grandmom had spent a couple more hours than I did, so she was probably eager to leave. When I took my huge poofy coat off, Aunt Alice said "YOU LOOK FABULOUS!!!" ^^;; The fruits of my weightloss have paid off again. XD And when we got home my mom hugged me and said thank you for taking care of grandmom. I didnt even think about getting thanks for it... I did it because I love her and I was worried... Anyway, after that we where going to take Justin to work but it was closed...he kinda forgot about that little detail! XD So we went to see School of Rock. I loved that movie, I was the soundtrack for Christmas. If not that, all the MP3s. I'm going to get my grandmom a present she'll like for Christmas too.. hmm... I should think... T-T wahhh poor grandma!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't ever want to loose her like I lost Grandpop... "She's all we've got" my mom said. And that was right... Both of my grandfathers are dead, and my dad's mom lives in Maryland... Grandmom is so sweet... I...I dont know.. wahhhh~ 10-3-03, My life as a Teenage Human I forgot to mention in the entry below about the confusion I'm having with these preps... I dont know when to take these people seriously. I lost weight over the summer, got new glasses, and cut my hair and changed my style. I guess I'm like a whole new person, better than I was before. And I'm not just talking about on the outside, I changed myself for the better on the inside, did some soul searching, and just became a better over-all person. I'm more outgoing now, not afraid to speak up, and I'm not afraid to smile like I used to be. (That might sound crazy, but I used to loook HORRIBLE when I smiled. Now my face has slimmed down, and my natural smile actually looks pretty, so I smile more often now.) But, I dont know when to take some of these popular kids seriously... I dont know if they want to be my friend, have pity for me, or are just making fun of me by acting nice. But why have pity? I'm not that different... anyway, I'll give a few examples. Mellissa R. keeps talking to me, asking to be my partner in gym class, saying 'good job!' even though I sucked at something and I know she didnt mean it and was just being nice, or thinks I suck and she wants me to feel better? She kind of talks to me like Im a baby.. I really hate when people do that to me! Just because I'm not excellent in sports dosent mean I'm an idiot!!!!! (Can you say 'loooossserrrr?') They really dont do that to me this year, because I'm more athletically inclined (or the girls in my class this year are more...declined...) But still, I wonder what Mellissa's intentions are. She's pretty popular, and I dont know why she'd want to be my friend. It's eather because a) she thinks Im cool or b) she has sympathy for me. But y'know what? I dont need sympathy! I HAVE FRIENDS! And yesterday, this kid Rocko I knew said this to me... I really dont know if he was serious or not... Rocko: Hey Shannon, did you lose weight? (well, after a whole monthe of school you notice? Or did Mellisa tell you that I did when she found out in gym when I told mr. heyal?) Me: Actually, I did (I said "actually" just in case he was trying to mock me or something) Rocko: Yeah, I noticed. *widened eyes and pationate voice* I'm really proud of you!"(what the hell?...) Proud of me?...why? Where they that shocked that I did it? I guess it's ok to be proud of me if people think "wow its great shannon lost all that weight! Im so happy for her!" but Rocko usually isnt the type of person, to my knowlage, to do that... I dont know... I dont know him that well. I know my mom and grandmom are super-proud of me, but... for a kid I hardly know to be proud of me, I just don't know about that. Then today, (I still dont know when to take these people seriously!) I was selling candy for drama, and I opened my box to sell the candy to some kids who asked for it... Then Rocko (who sits in front of me) turns around and like nibbled/licked my box and said "That tastes better than all the candy in that box." and I was like o_o ok.... Then Heather said "Rocko what did you just do?" and Mellisa says "He just licked Shannon's box..." And then Rocko turns to this other guy, and said "Shannon licked the box and so did I, and she says we hooked up." So as you could imagine, I was thinking "what..the...heck..." And one guy named Nick says, "Can I lick the box too?" Then Rocko smirked and said "ah, a threesome! Shannon, he wants to lick the box too. Can he?" And Im still like o_o And Nick said "What do I owe you if you let me lick the box?" and I was like "....five bucks." Rocko was laughing, and Nick went into his pocket and pulled out breath mints and said "What'll this get me?" I just shook my head and put my box away. -_- Then Nick started talking about how he had made out with Arielle 3 times in 9 monthes or something like that when they where still going out, and then Rocko asked Heather for a peice of paper. She gave it to him and he licked it and asked her to lick it too and was like trying to shuve it in her face... ^^;;; And then he started touching some girl's butts.... -_- I guess they where horney, but I wonder what they would have done if I let Nick lick it... lol! I dont know if they're serious or what!!!!!!!!!! (that would be funny because I didnt lick it at all and it would have been a second-hand yaoi! LOL!!) Am I hot enough now for people to fantasize really making out with me? Are they mocking me? Am I just confused? Yes. Please tell me what you think in the comment section. A spoon full of nothing 10-3-03 I'm really getting into Victorian fairy tales. After Count Caine and Alice in Wonderland, I'm hooked. Stories by Charles Dickens adds my love to the Victorian era. It was so elegent... They're so... I dont know...magical, gothic, and classical. Last night my mom and I brought my brothers to their boyscout meeting, and while they where there we went to the library. I was looking around for the Rocky Horror Picture Show to rent, but something on the junior novel shelf caught my eye. "A collection of Victorian Fairy Tales" was a huge book on the shelf. I grabbed it and began to read the introduction and one of the fairy tales called "The Goblin Market". I found out a lot of...interesting facts about Lewis Carrol (author of Alice in Wonderland) and even saw his picture. He was kinda cute actually. ^^;; Kalyn should come over tommorow and we can talk about stuff like that... Fantasy and such... yeah... And check my tarot fortune. I wish I did like yesterday, but I dont have any cards... -_- Last time she came over we had a lot of fun reading up in a book of superstitions, checking info on our zodiac signs, and doing tarot forutnes. There's some more things I want to ask the cards... It kinda reminds me of Escaflowne...yeah... I need to get back into the supernatural like I did 3 years ago... It's all beginning to come back and haunt me... Maybe Halloween is making me feel this way?... Back on the Diet Track! Wed. Oct. 1, 2003 Well, I took a break since the beginning of school from my diet. I didn't really gain anything back, and I was actually starting to feel kind of good with myself. Instead of looking in the mirror thinking "ugh thats horrible" I felt better and stuff..... And I was feeling good about my grades. I thought, "Hey, I might be able to get honor roll this marking period!" Well...BAM. I find out that I have a high percent body fat. BAM. I get a D on a Geometry quiz. So...yeah... Something kinda funny happened in gym today. Well, embaressing, but only if they actually go through with it... In gym we where playing w/ medacine balls again. Well all had to stand in a straight line, and pass medacine balls to each other in different ways. The girls in front of me where trying to do it quickly and kept messing up, but I would get it in time... Anyway, Stephanie, Sam, and Percilla where messing around and smacking each other's butts, and I turn around to give the ball to Steph (Who as behind me) and when I turned back around, a 6-pound medacine ball out of nowhere smacks me in the face. (right into my nose, my most sensative area!) And there was a chorus of "Im sorry!" and "Are you ok??" And I said "Im ok! Im fine! Its ok, really!" (it hurt but you know...) and i turned around and saw... a camera pointed right at us, and then to our gym teacher asking about our class. He said something like "Gym is such a joy to teach, it's always so interesting!!" o_o They recorded it all!!! I dont want to be on the morning news getting smacked in the face by a medacine ball... I hope they cut that out... I'm gonna make a comic about that. Sports! I'm thinking about sports right now. Today we ran track again, and again I was the first to run the quarter mile, but I didnt fall back like I did last time even though I felt really sick like I was going to colapse. The hot sun made it unbearable... Anyway, after that, when I took a cool-down walk in the grass I felt better, and he made us play football... ^^; I was one of the only ones who participated!! I wonder if I was doing it right anyway... ^^;;; But something on the up-side is that Mellisa picked me for her team, and I wasnt one of the last ones picked like I usually am. I wonder why she's trying to be so nice to me and talk to me... I dont want her to feel sorry for me (I dont need pity.... why would I need that? o_0) Or, she's trying to be my friend. I wouldnt mine being her friend, but if she only wants to be friends because she thinks I dont have any, I do have a lot of friends... I dont need her to feel sorry for me... It kinda gets me annoyed and confused! -_- Oh well... ........ ........ I'm going to go for this year's drama club presentation of "Into The Woods." It's a dark yet comical tale that mixes almost all the fairytales together. And you know that any kaori yuki fan like myself loves those type of things. I looked at a book Jessica brought in with all the costumes, and they're breathtaking!! I just HAD to be in it... I love gothic fairytales! It will be fun, and it's something that will go on my college application that shows that I can stick to something and that I'm well-rounded. ^^: I've noticed that I'm not so soft-spoken anymore. I'm a little more confident in myself and less shy I guess. Maybe theatre arts helped too? I dont know. I hope I get in the play! Emotion-stricken day 9-27-03 Yesterday when I got home from school, no one was home. I used the emergency-secret-hidden key to get inside. (I should really stop using that one and get my own key back in my bookbag)But when I got in, there was a note saying that my mom and Phil went to my Grandmom's. Later on she called to tell me that she was staying overnight there. Not only was it because of helping her renovate her house, she also has some problems with my dad the other day. I think the problem was really stupid though... I'm just a kid and I know that it was something stupid to run to your mom's house about... But my house is always a huge struggle between parents and siblings, so I guess I just have to deal with it. But when my dad got home, we went to Blockbuster and rented Cowboy Bebop the Movie, Forest Gump, and The Matrix (Three movies I have on the list of movies to see before I die.) We watched the Cowboy Bebop movie, and it was great!! Today was kind of depressing because I just kept thinking about life... life............ Well, it started out OK today, John woke me up early (Like every single damn f***ing saturday morning, damn I wish he wouldnt do that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) And he asked if I wanted to watch the Matrix. I went downstairs and saw that dad was at work, mom still wasn't home, and Justin was still asleep. He acted as if the whole family was gathered around, about to watch the movie, and he just HAD to get me up early in the morning to see it. I just went back to bed. I didnt want to watch it without my dad and Justin, because Dad rented it specifically for him to watch it and it would be uber-selfish of me if I saw it without them. Then later on when my mom got home (I was in my room reading, on the computer, minding my own business) I hear John screaming about something with Philip (Like always) and he got in trouble for watching an R-rated movie without parental supervision. (I knew it!) And my mom acted as if it was all of our faults (John, Justin, and I) when John was the one watching it in the first place... Then there where more fights when my dad came home over buying R-rated movies and not telling the little kids not to watch it... ect.. ect... Then later on we went to a couple stores, and I was in a bad mood because the fights lingered on into the afternoon, because my mom was saying "That John Paul is always so difiant and bla bla" (Even though all she was saying was true, it put me in a bad/sad mood to have to listen to it again.) And when we got home Dad was watching Forest Gump. I rewinded it, and we where watching it, and my mom kept saying "Oh this is such a good movie, I loved it, ect ect" She had told me a monthe ago that I just HAD to see it, and wondered why I didnt yet... (Well if you didnt give your kids a chance to see it then how are we going to?!) And it was a great movie, but then later on during sertain scenes she said "This is NOT apropriate material for children! Kevin, I cant beleave you bought this for your children to see. I think your father is trying to compare these horrible men who curse to him so that he can make himself look like a better father!!" and so on... I HATE it when she dose that, tries to act like Dad is in a conspiracy to control our minds. I was the one who suggested Forest Gump to dad at Blockbuster since it ws a classic I had never seen, and I dont think anything in it was too bad, nothing was any different that what Im exposed to almost every day anyway. (For john paul I think he was too young, he seemed uncomfortable during sertain parts, and maybe she was refering to him when she said that long drawn-out speech, but it made me feel angry because it seemed like she was refering to me too.) She's trying to make him seem like a horrible father, trying to pit us against him... I feel like crying thinking about it though.... I hate this... Then later on she was all happy, loveable, and cheery and didnt understand why I looked upset. All I could do hold in the tears... dammnit... plus I gained 5 pounds since Im in my cycle right now. I hate being bloated! So, as you can see, I had a sucky day. I wish I could have gone to a football game or a compatition for my friend's marching band stuff... And, I hope tommorow is better. We might go to the mall or something, but with all of these problems and with my mom's moodswings, I dont like to be around her too much anymore... I dont want to say some of the situations, but... ah I dont know... my home life is really confusing. And it might sound crazy, but I feel upset whenever I try to think about the future and if I get married... I dont know if I want to start a family, because I'm afraid of making mistakes... Making too many mistakes that could make or take a child's life. I dont want to make some of the same mistakes my parents did, and when I see things in movies or TV about bad parenting, I to take them as an example too... I know it's way too early in my life to even think about it, but...but I just think about it...And I'm scared of having to have a time where I make a desition on that. I love babies and kids, and I know that it must be one of the greatest feelings in the world to have someone like that to love, and I hope I can be a mother that will be loved by her kids all her life, one who didnt make too many wrong choices... My emotions are just so messed up, I tried to drown them with fantasy... Final Fantasy that is. I played for about an hour, and now I'm here on the internet writing in my blog. Y'know, I wish I could meet Billy... Today, I dont know why, but I missed him a lot during the day.. I just wanted to talk to him and be with him.. heheh I guess that's weird too... I really never felt like that with anyone before, wanting to be with them... Just his compony, online or not is nice. I can talk to him about almost anything, I have secrets with him that no one else knows! I know what he looks like, sounds like, and what his personality is like... I just cant physically be with him or touch him... Man this sucks... I think if I could be with him, all of my problems would go away... desu-no! Thursday Sept. 25th 2003 I had so much to type about, but my computer froze.... Then I had to get offline.. -_- Anyway, I'll try to update again. How do you like my new layout? I think it's uber-sexy!! XD I want to thank Ally for giving me my first blog award. Isn't it so cute?? THANK YOU SO MUCH!! (Please visit her website!) In theatre arts we're studying pantamime...yes, mimes. lol! We need to put on a skit, it's going to be interesting. Something important I need to type about is the job I might be getting...well... here's the whole story. Two weeks ago Justin and I applied for a job at a halloween hey ride/corn maze, pumpkin sale, ect. It would be every weekend up until Halloween, and we would make a good amount of money. Justin applied for everything. He didnt care what the job was, what time, whatever. I was a little more picky (Which I shouldn't have been) And only selected the jobs I really would be willing to do during the day on only Saturday and Sunday. When justin was having an interveiw (The actors for the scare-thing needed an interveiw) as soon as he mentioned GCIT (His highschool. GCIT is a super-special school where only the best of the best make it in, and he's in the drama department.) well, he got hired on the spot and was given a huge role. ^^; On Tuesday, Justin had to go to job rehersal and said I should come too to see if I made it for the daytime helping-out. When we got there, lots of teenagers where gathered around picnic tables, and a woman was sitting down taking roll from names off a clipboard. Justin was the lead cannibal cook and had many little cannibal minions. The lady said I should ask the woman I gave my application to two weeks earlier, and she told me that they had enough people to work during the day and that I probably won't be needed unless a lot of people call out sick. I was very disapointed, and I had to hang around Justin for a while. He got his costume, which was a bloody apron with plastic guts attached to it and stuff like that. His lines had to be improved, which wasn't a problem for him, because he can make up crazy stuff on the spot. ^^; As I was standing there, the girl asked what costume I needed, and I told her what happened. A little while afterwards, she asked if I wanted to be one of the actors too! I was like o_o 'honto-nii?' in my brain. "What's your name?" "Shannon Quinn." "Can you talk louder than you are now?" "YES!" "hahaha, Did you fill out the application, or no?" "I filled it out a couple weeks ago, my brother got the job of the cannibal cook." "Oooh our cannibal cook! Dosent he go to GCIT?" "Yeah, I dont go there but I take theatre arts class in school..." "You do?? That means she can have speaking parts!" (to another lady) So, They put me on the list. I really wish I had done this sooner, becasuse a lot of these kids dont have any past acting training like Justin and I have, and they need actors with good experience. I would have been hired on the spot, but now I think I'm just a stand-in for if someone is sick, drops out, or has other plans. Well, someone has to do it. At least they said I'd be the first they'd call... ^^; so... I MIGHT be getting a job, and I MIGHT be getting a little extra money... *sigh* life is weird sometimes. At least I can go to the marching band compatition...maybe... How Could I forget? 9-19-03 How could I forget Shinesman? That's the perfect anime to start out anime club with! Anyway, I want to rant about some things. Last night Isabel (that's a lame way of spelling it, it should be spelled "Isobelle" !!) hit our area last night and blew branches out of trees, flooded the roads, and put our power out for 5 hours -_- It was about 7pm when the lights went out, so I said "Im gonna go to bed" and went upstares. I wasnt feeling too good anyway, and I was tired and wanted to go to sleep. Plus, I didn't want to stay up when it's all dark. A half-hour later, Phil comes in, yelling, flashing the flashlights in my eyes saying "Shannon get up, There's gonna be a tornado and we're all gonna die if we don't go in the basement right now!!" So I got up and went downstairs, where my family was sitting around in the computer room. Justin was holding an atlas, trying to find out where the hurricane was. The emergency weather-radio was on, and my family looked worried. Mom said "There is going to be a tornado. Why won't the lights come back on?" And I said "well, a tree or branch or something probably hit the electric wires outside." And she said "Yes.... I didnt think of some reason so logical." I was like 0_0 (I think she thought it was another "consiprecy") Then she said "Wny dont they use the power-generators? My cousin works at a power plant and I know that they just flip a switch and our lights can come on!" And I tried to explain to her that it was because of a falling tree, and NO ONE would go out to fix the wires in the middle of a hurricane, and that it wasnt a compony conspirecy. And while I was trying to explain, Phil kept screaming at me "NO SHANNON, WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! JUST FACE IT!" @_@ And then I said "well Ill go to bed now since it's not really a tornado..." And then my mom said "You shouldnt sleep in your room, the window above your head might shatter and kill you!" So I said "can I please just sleep in the living room or something? T_T" And she said "No, there might be a tornado." Then Justin finished his reasearch and said "Well in my boyscout guidbook it says that even when a tornado WARNING and an actual tornado is happening, The chances of it going through a house are 1/1000, and the only tornadoes in this hurricane are 100 miles away..." But my family was still confused and didnt understand and where still yelling and panicking, so I just went to bed. -_- Then, like 3 hours later my mom wakes me up and tells me to sleep on the floor in John's room because she was afraid of my window shattering and it killing me... So I did what she asked, The bed was uncomfortable, and I had no blanket, so it was very cold, and my hair was still a little damp, but I didnt care. I was just too tired. Then I when I woke up the next morning (My dad woke me up at 6) I had a soar throat and a runny nose. I was exsausted and had no desire to go to school. And through all that heck, they still had school dammnit! I just stayed home and I'm glad I did, because I felt horrible all day. On top of that, my mom gave me with vinigar stuff that made my go to the bathroom like 10 times today -_- Oh the joys of my life... Balls! What a great day! 9-17-03 Today we played with medacine balls and giant bouncy, plastic galls in Gym. ^_^ Man, that was fun. Everyone seemed to have a good time, no one was really bad at it, and we all had a good laugh and a good workout. I usually dislike gym a lot, but days like today just make my whole day so much better! ^-^ We had free-write in Language Arts today, and I wrote to Miss Williams about the anime club idea. I explained to her what anime was, I wonder if she'll say she wants to start one, or even recomend a teacher who would sponcer it instead. I keep feeling like my theatre arts teacher like, hates almost everyone in my class 0_0 Lately she's been really annoyed -_- Oh yeah, we had chex mix in Band today! that was so fun!! XD Paige brought in a huge bag of chex mix, and she sat near us since the trumpets where having seating auditions. Then katie told us about her super-weird dream, and we talked and laughed and stuff. That was great. ^_^ I'm slowly getting closer to my friends again, I didnt see them all summer, and they kinda forgot about me since they all hung out without me since they live so close and I live so far away >_< But, yeah we're getting closer, which is great. I forgot how much fun it was to be friends with them. It makes the year go by in a MUCH funner way if it's full of laughs and frienship. Daimere and Mr. Cartella make Science class SO FUNNY XD And in theatre George makes it funny... In language arts, it's always cool! In French, Wally makes it very funny too... Since I'm getting closer to my friends, Band is getting more fun. It was fun in the beginning, but now it's so much better. ^_^ And... What classes are left? LOL History and Geometry arent too funny but that's ok XD Gym is sometimes depressing, sometimes fun like today, Sometimes tiring, you never know... Anime Club....resurected? I want to make another anime club now that I'm in highschool, but I don't know who to ask, since it was only by luck that Ms. C's daughter likes anime too. (Yes, you, Ally. XD) But I reaaallly want another club to start up, so I desided to wait and see if any of my teachers where cool enough to say yes. And, I think the best candidate is Ms. Williams, my Language Arts teacher. She's young and is into a lot of TV shows, books, and movies. She gets really into the stories and loves sertain characters, I'm suprised she dosen't like anime! I should talk to her about it now that she knows I study Japanese... ^^;; If I show her sertain shows, I KNOW she'd get hooked. I just need to choose the right series to start the club off with. I was thinking eather Greenwood, Kare Kano, Kiki's Delivery service, Utena, or something else I havnt thought of. If you have good ideas for ice-breakers, post it on the post-a-comment board please! Of Jobs and MIRC Something super cool happened today but Im not aloud to tell anyone until next week...so... I have to shut up about that. XD I just spent a very long time on Sakura-Crisis's IRC channel, and I love everyone there! If someone from the channel is reading this, I love ya. XD And I'll win next time Carole, just you wait!! This entry is going to be choppy because I'm talking on IRC right now, and I forget all the stuff I wanted to type about. Actually, I wanted to type a lot about the 'secret', but I guess I can't since it's a secret, but I'll say one thing, I got to see Ken-kun again today! I was so suprised! Is it fate? ^_~ For people who read my blog for a long time, you know who ken-kun is, but I'll explain some other day...well, zut alleur! goodbye for now... Pimpin' up 9-9-03 My entry will be short today Well, I think it will be, unless if I ramble 0_0... This afternoon on the bus I imagined a pair of a pimpin-style Mad Hatter and a sexy Alice going out on Halloween. XD I thought "Justin and I should so do that for like a joke!" But, I forgot he had the Jedi costume made since Otakon. -_- Darn! Over the summer, I've become a lot closer to Justin (my brother). He's like one of my best friends now!! lol! I've always gotten along with him since he's only a year older, but now we have talked more and have a lot in common and even some inside jokes! ^^;; And that subject brings to me the topic of my new Webcomic that is not alive yet. (lol!) I draw comics for fun about my friends and what happens in life. I have two series of "mini-spoofs" as I like to call them. "Horiscopies", and "Angst". Justin has SO MANY cute chibi comic ideas with his friends, and he wants to learn how to draw really badly so that he can draw them. We should have a webcomic team! Yay! The new scanner isn't working yet though. T_T And.. I have so much to do now that school's stared. T-T Anyway, as Pontus Madson would say, I "pimped up" Ally's journal. XD (Hense the title of this entry.) She pimped me up, so I pimped her up. lol. (Pimping and linking have almost nothing in common, but it still sounds funny to say, dose'nt it?) And.... OK people... If you are reading this.... say SOMETHING in the "post a comment" section. XD You don't need to register for a message board account or anything, you just need to post an allias and a message on the board. Like I said in previous entries, people tell me they read my blog, but they don't post about my blog IN my blog. ^^: All you have to do is say "Hey my name is such and such and I like your blog." Or "Hey I'm Ralf and your blog sucks, I just wanted to tell you that." I just...want to know if anyone reads it besides two or three people I know that defanitaly do read it. ^^:; Link me to your websites too so that I can visit them! And... sorry to Ally that it took me until tonight to visit her journal "Sex Ed" >,< ACK! It's already 9:40! I wanted to be in bed by 9! T_T Well, bye guys, I need to go!! Golden Afternoon September 8th 2003 Darn Count Cain chapter, now I have the song "The Golden Afternoon" stuck in my head! XD I know you probably don't know what I'm talking about, so I'll explain... The chapter of Count Cain I just read (Volume 6, chapter 1) was strongly related to Alice in Wonderland. There was a ladie's club called "The Golden Afternoon". After I read that, the song from the Disney movie came back into my head. >_< I really need to read the original Alice in Wonderland novel. I heard that the author was on crack when he wrote it. XD The Disney movie scared me when I was little, and I really hated it since then... But the idea and whole consept of it is very creative and cute, and I think maybe I should make an Alice costume for Halloween with the pattern I got for my Yuni skirt. I think that would be really cute. ^_^ Well, I found out that we DONT have a mile run every other day, it's that we are trying to build ourselves up to the physical level where we CAN run a mile without dying. ^^; Our teacher said that the goal he wants to see in us is that we are more physically fit in June than we are now. I hope so too, and tommorow in track it's going to be sort of a pre-test, and he'll time our mile run. In June he'll time us again, and I hope I'll run faster and loose weight. He also said on Friday that he would help us with a good weight-loss plan. According to the school scale, I lost 25 pounds since June 2003. 0_0 (yay!!) I'd like to loose another 20 or so more pounds and I think I'll be perfect. That shouldn't take too long if this gym workout and me having salads for lunch every day=loosing more weight! So... according to the rate of loosing weight over the summer, I should loose this extra 20 by mid-December?... That's not too bad at all. Maybe that, and if I get straight A's is enough to get an award of going to Otakon or Anime Boston 2004! XD Otakon 2003 was kind of the award for loosing the first 20 pounds and a combonation birthday present. I remember my mom telling me "We'll go to disney world if you loose 20 pounds!" when I was little, which is in Florida (I'm in new jersey) So I dont know why she keeps nagging me about how good she was to bring me to Otakon... Otakon (especially since I payed for my own ticket and hardly ate any food XD) is a LOT less expenisive than spending and week in Florida, AND at Disney World. @_@ Plus, the whole family had fun during the vacation, and she said "that was so fun, let's go to an anime convention in the winter!!" -_- She sends too many mixed messages. T_T Soul Searching Sunday September 7th, 2003. This summer I've done a lot of soul searching, and I figured out what I think love really is. It's hard to describe, but I know what it is, and I have different feelings twoards marraige, sex, boyfriends/girlfriends, ect. than I did in June. It's funny, because shoujo manga was mostly my influence in what helped me realize what I think love really is.... It isn't about the sex or the infactuation... And learning so much about what the feelings behind it are, I think I'll make better choices later on in life on what I choose to do. Well, like I said, it's hard to describe, so I'll just stop talking about it. One thing I need to still soul-search about is my religion. I don't know what to believe anymore. I feel like a hipacrit when I pray or anything, because I don't truely and honestly beleave in all this stuff in the bible and whatnot... I'm too tired to describe all that too! lol Remember once I said "I feel younger" ? Well, after more discussion on a topic on cosplay.com forums, it is more like, I'm feeling younger because I now realize that I'm not an adult yet, and still a child in a lot of people's eyes, and through my soul searching and beggining highschool, I know that I still have so much to learn about the world, and I even think, after being in the evil Geometry class, that the adult world is going to be scary. (Especially for me, a short person!!) Well, I better get off to bed. I got stuck with the track-gym so now I have to have a mile run almost every other day!!! @_@ (that's crazy!!) And my teacher is super-strict. I wish they had room in the tennis-gym. T_T I wanna scream!! Tommorow I'll take one of those energy diet-pills that my mom got. It sort of wakes me up, and I hope it will get me through a workout. (If we have one, that is.)Well, I hope I have a good week... I really do. >_< TGIF, and a little bit of manga talk. Escaflowne is downloading right now...Yep... After we got messed up with the anime club thing, I need to finish the series! So I'm on episode...umm...23! Well, thank god it's Friday. School's out..Um...Yay! I'll take a little time to talk about the manga I read this summer and how it affected me. "This summer, through a lot of soul searching..and shoujo manga.. I think I've learned what true love really is." Doubt! was a manga I read that really influenced me. It is about this girl who was unpopular in school all her life and only had a few friends. It seemed like all the girls in her middle school where loosing their virginity, and she thought she would be the only one who wouldn't loose it until she was 30 or something. So, the summer before highschool, she made an amazing transformation. She used acne cream, went on diets, tried hair treatments, bought expensive clothes, ect. And transfered to a far-away highschool and became the hottest girl on campus. It reminded me of exaclty what I was trying to do, loose weight before highschool. Reading that along with "Parfait Tic" helped me want to also change my hairstyle, get new glasses, clothes, and makeup to make myself look even better. I even started using that clean and clear cream, and it works! And, my highschool premear was also a success. ^_^ OK now about Parfait Tic. It's about a girl named Fuuko who loved kids, her sister is a manga artist, and her mom is a normal house wife. Her life changed drastically when two guys move in the apartment above her's. The two guys are two really hot guys who just happen to be cousins living together since both of their fathers (who where brothers) desided to go on a joint-business trip overseas and leave their sons in Japan. Fuuko gets to know them and become their friends, and goes to their school, but it seems like there is a love triangle begining to form... Well, Parfait Tic helped me realize more of the feelings behind falling in love with someone, and how Fuuko feels about Daiya and stuff... Plus, I started to copy some of her hairstyles. XD Count Cain... How can I say this?.... Count Cain is a very gothic manga about Victorian England, and a young count named Cain who was abused as a child and lives an acursed life where everyone is dying around him... It makes me feel sad almost every time somone dies... Especially poor Gillford!!! I almost actually did cry when I read that. I don't recomend it for people with a weak mind and stomach though. It helped me learn a lot of new scientific-type things I didnt know, and helped me on my project of Victorian fashion! XD Yamada Taro is a very funny manga bout a very poor boy... It really didnt influence me much. Sensai! I talked about yesterday. HunterXHunter and Bleach are just too cool.... Snoopy Cool's mangas JUST came back on the market so to speak, I need to download all of the releases later. I guess manga and anime really dose help me... And through the soul searching I realized that too. Thanks so much to the person who started it all, it improves my life a lot... School and such Thursday, Sept. 4th 2003 I went back to school yesterday. It bothered me that I didnt have too many friends in my classes, but now I really don't care too much about that. Today we actually did work and learned things, so it was more interesting and it helped the day go by faster. I think I'll eventually make new friends later on in the year when we really start to work in groups and I start to join clubs. Shall I go through all my classes? I guess I will! XD (It's MY blog, anyway.) Homeroom- Not much to say, really. My homeroom teacher is Asian...Asian people are cool. XD Language Arts Honors- I thought Ms. Williams would be a scary 80-year-old-cane-poking-woman from the description Ms. Boerlin gave us, but she was actually a young, beutiful, funny, and kind person. I LOVE her!! And I love what we're doing so far. This year's work seems easier too, since we only have to do four novels during the course of the year! (Last year we did 10!! @_@) Band- I was afraid I'd be like the last-chair-confused person, but I actually flowed with the other clarinets and was on their level. I don't mind being 3rd chair music any more, it's challenging enough so that it dosent make me fall asleep in class (yeah, long story behind that! XD) and SOMEONE has to do third, and not many people from last year joined band again this year, and all the people who signed up again are my friends, or are very nice people! ^_^ (yay!) So, I was happy... And I hope I do well on my seating audition. Theatre Arts- This class seems like it's going to be REALLY fun. We're going to put on a lot of mini-plays and performences, and most of the class is us putting on skits, writing scripts, ect. It's going to be SO COOL! On Saturday at Franklanville Day the Drama club is going to dress as different characters to entertain the little kids. I would join in as a character, but I'd like to take my first weekend to relax...and sleep...and get work done. ^^; Earth Science- My teacher is SO NICE, I love him. ^_^ He has Haru hair! XD (Haru, the cow dude from Fruits Basket) He reminds me of my old Social Studies teacher Mr. Huffman mixed with an old Science teacher Mr. Glougal. ^_^ (that's a good thing!) I know learning in his class will be super-fun! French- I was SO GLAD that Kalyn desided to take French instead of Spanish. She said she was tired of the puppets (In elementary school spanish we where taught spanish through puppets on video even though we where in 5th-6th grade, and she didnt take normal-teenager-spanish in 8th grade because of some math problems...long story...) So, I had my best friend in at least one class. ^_^ And she seems happy to see me every day, smiling and waving, saying hi. I'm glad about that. I'm so glad she's still my best friend after so long! *sniff* I really do love her so much! (not in that way, you dirty-minded people! XD) Well, our teacher is nice, and I think she likes me. (eehe) Maybe Kalyn and I can have a french study party sometime! (yay!) Actually, I wanna invite her over on Saturday to hang out, unless if I want to just rest.. >,< I also wonder if Kalyn's sudden liking for French had anything to do with the anime Noir? ^_~ History- The teacher is OK, there are kids I know, some I dont, but look nice, and it seems like the popular kids I know like...talk to me more and dont mind I sit near them... I guess it's because I lost 20 pounds and I wear makeup and do my hair, so now I look prettier than I did in middle school? o_0 Well, those kind of people arent even worth being their friend since they only accept me after I'm pretty or something. As long as I can live with them in peace without mockery or anything like that, then it's ok with me. Gym- Not much to say for now. All the health, gym, and driver's ed. kids all have to wait in the gym until the teachers deside when we start with actual excersize. I don't know if JROTC kids are in the class too, but it's a lot of kids. But the locker rooms are HUGE! Anyway, I just hung out with Paige, Christy, Ed, John, Chris, and those guys yesterday and today. I also over-heard funny conversations of other people who seem very cool... I just feel bad for tripping on Wednesday in front of a lot of people! XD No one laughed, I actually caught myself with my hands, so none of me hit the floor (Rather lucky I guess)But they should get rid of that pole! Everyone trips over it!! Geometry- OK...the scary class... I am the ONLY Freshman in the class, seriously. There might be one or two others, but I am in one of the front rows, so I cant see everybody. I just feel...intimidated and short. The teacher is nice, but sometimes I think she forgets that I am a Freshman, because she keeps talking about the HESPA (a test all Seniors take) and how it's different from the earilier tests (which I'll take) and she showed us examples of past HEPSA tests (Only the second day of school and she's doing this already?! We have those tests in March!) But suprisingly, I answered the questions correctly. They wherent hard at all, I don't know if they where supposed to be. It was really just for an example of how to write correct open-ended questions or something. The only problem I had was that I could'nt get the graph calculator to work. (Mr. V said that Calculators where for lazy people. XD) And the work she wanted us to do on it where simple algebra equations I could have answered quickly when written down, but she made us put it in the calculator. I fell behind because I got stuck trying to clear it from the graphing section someone else left on! But, I understoon the material and stuff, and Billy took Geometry last year, and he told me that it was really easy. The syllabus looks easy too. It's all stuff I already know how to do. So, in conclution.... I think I might be able to pull off straight A's or at least honor roll this year. All of the course sylabusses seem very easy, and if the tests are hard, I'll study more. Last year I didnt study at all, or on rare occasions, and I only missed the honor roll in math. But Geometry is different. If it's the kind of stuff I learned a few years ago, and if they let you use a graphing calculator, I'll do fine. Plus, I have my mom, billy, and my brother Justin who is taking it this year too to help. I won't be quiete this year about my troubles, I'll speak up! All I need to fix is the problem with carrying so much stuff around! I usw my locker, but I have so much other stuff! And I need to bring my gym suit soon too! I'll manage somehow, I think... BTW, the "Post a Comment" section works now, and i'll fix the picture and backround problems this weekend. ^^ Sayonara! WAIII!!! Sunday, August 31st, 2003 Heehheeeh I feel like squeeling like a schoolgirl... Wait, I am a schoolgirl..so...whatever! I've been reading this manga called "Sensai". Oh my god... this is like the best...the best. I love it so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so SOOOOOO much!!!!!!! I'm feeling so happy for Hibiki right now... So so happy... It makes me look forward to falling in love some day.... It must be a WONDEFUL feeling. I hope I get a sweet, romantic man like Ito... I've always thought of a dream man as one that would "protect me". *sigh* maybe that's too much to ask, but right now I just felt like telling someone how much I love this manga before I burst! ^-^ So, thats for listening. Now I'll type about my life right now. We had some problems at home that led to me not being able to do a lot of blog updates (a half lie, I wanted to write in my blog, but never found time edgewise! eheh) But anyways, school starts on Wednesday. I'm planning a super-cool outfit to wear. Today we bought me a new coat for winter, which is being stashed in my mom's closet until christmas or whenever. ^^: It's a wonderful jacket and everyone says it looks "perfect" on me... It looks nice, but perfect? I hope other people in school think so. (It resembles the coat that Leah from 'The Real World in Paris' on MTV wears. ^^') Also, yesterday we went to the eye doctor to get new frames. During the eye test, I noticed my eyes DID get worse in the 2 1/2 years I hadn't had new glasses. So, I got stronger lenses and new, cool frames. I'll get them in like a week though (gr!) So I cant wear them to my "high school premear" (Gr! again!) My improvement on myself reminds me of the manga "Doubt" a lot. If you really care, read it and you'll understand what I went through this summer! (hahah)mangaproject.cjb.net Dr. B seemed to get like too close for comfort, but...ah...gr... thats all I can say, gr. XD Well, I'm off to read more of "Sensai!" befoe I go to bed. I'll try to write more often, tell me if you like my blog and stuff. I like to hear posative feedback. ^^; I need like a guestbook... Back to Work Monday, August 18, 2003 All week my family was working on renovating our house. Painting, wallpapering, moving furniture, dusting, throwing away a LOT of stuff that we don't need anymore, and I think we're going to go to Cow Town or English Town to sell a lot of our stuff (They're both huge flea markets in NJ). But yesterday we took the whole day to rest, and it was wonderful. All of my friends are in band camp all week, and they all went over matt's house without me -_- And called me while they where there for some reason. That kind of made me feel sad and left out, but I got hugs and stuff and I talked to Adrienne and Paige later and they said they will invite me next time. I would have gone over and had fun, I didnt do anything that important yesterday excpet download more of X/1999. I sent Billy his package on Saturday with the autograph from Tim Buckley, author of the online comic "Ctrl+Alt+Del" (OMG he was so cute!!!!!! XD) I wish I had money to buy things in the artists alley, but I got there late on Saturday after I was broke... ._. That reminds me, I havn't finished my Otakon report, have I? I guess I should hurry up on that. I finished Great Expectations and the report I had to do with it, all that's left is the project. I desided to write an original story dealing with the characters from the story... OK I'll expalin... A character named Miss Havisham had this bad past with a man that broke her heart, she was so pissed that she never left the house, you got the idea, but they just took a chapter to explain her past, but the story never went first-person. There where a lot of love-story explinations throughout the story, so I thought "Instead of copying stuff that happened in the story, it would be more creative to write my own script and tell the love stories in a first-person aspect, drawn in comic/doujinshi form. If they don't turn out right, I'll just write the first-person form in a few chapters and hand in the story. Eather way I think it shows that I used enough effort and creativity, but I think the doujin would be a lot cooler, and I would need to spend more time on it than I would a story, so I'm more secure on a good grade. ^^: Atashinchi Wednesday August 13 Today we cleaned the house pretty well, and I made up with Paige about some weird fight we had last night... That was the first time I ever fought with a friend besides Chuckie, and it wasnt very nice T_T I also need to update this blog's backround and pictures. It's getting pretty old to see Daisuke over and over again isnt it? Well, Hi to all the people who came from Cosplay.com out of extreme boredom. Yesterday's entry was kinda bad, read earlier ones. Like the one about China Town if it's still there. The Future I'm going to rant a little while about the future while my To Heart episode downloads... I'm always thinking "What am I going to do for work when Im an adult?" Well, I dont mean to be bragging, but I have a lot of talents that I could use to get a job with. Most of the people I am friends with have some kind of special talent since I make most of my friends through the arts programs at school or over the internet in forums. My future choices to make with my talents are: (not in any particular order) 1. Become a seamstress (boring ordinary job) 2. Write for a newspaper (Its an OK job, makes good money, but not too fun.) 3. Write articles for an anime magazine (Now that would be GREAT, and for some reason people like to read my writing...The seem to like my style or something...) 4. Move to Japan and become a mangaka (Great idea but if I get too famous it would be hectic, and Kanji is too hard) 5. Become a teacher (ugh...) 6. Move to California and edit manga for Tokyopop. (that would be fun, when my skills get better maybe I'll offer my services to a scanlation website and if I end of having fun and liking it, getting paid for it would be great) 7. Become a dub voice actor for anime (A few people suggested I should do this, but it would seem weird watching an anime with my voice in the character) 8. Marry someone rich and live off of them (not likely, not fun) Well those are the jobs I would like to do, but there are others like an office worker that I could do but wouldnt enjoy. I hope I get something along the lines of a writer because I like it when I write articles on the internet and people read them. They really listen to my opinions and stuff, and understand what I'm saying, and I'm only 14. I hope my skills don't change in the future... Like I used to be really creative when I was 11 but the hard work slowly turned my imagination to moosh... But this year I've been getting in again with my creativity which is wonderful... I guess my brain goes into 3-year-long writer's block? o_0 Or maybe it was because in Middle School we wherent required to do much creative writing. Well, in 7th grade we did. I had good ideas. 8th grade was none. I went to moosh. But I'm back again...so it's only a like a 1-year-lapse right?... I dont know, the process was slow. I'm still working on the Otakon page thing. I was reading a lot today so I can get all this school work over with. Then I watched one of the tapes I bought at the Otakon dealer's room after Phil and I played a round of Mario Party. I was so winning. Phil got board of Gundam Wing since he couldnt follow any of it except the "damn it" part where he said "Im too young to watch this" and left the room to watch spongebob. ^^;; Justin got episode 0 of the manga version of GW, and it looks really cool, but I cant read any of my manga until my school work is done. Most of today's computer time was spent uploading, resizing, and even sending some pictures to my mom from Otakon. I talked on the Cosplay.com forums a bit, and checked out some of my fav. site's updates. Later on my friend Double D told me about a Window's virus that was going around. It turns out I had it, and that's why my computer was acting so nutty all day. I'm glad he told me about it because I got my computer fixed. I was too tired to draw a lot off the information I got about Victorian-style clothing, but I guess I'll work on the book and the project tommorow. It would be GREAT if I got all of my work done by the end of the week. But, there's not too much of a rush, there's 3 weeks of summer left after all.